Lessons well learnt

So I guess I've learnt a couple of things these past weeks about myself that I guess I always knew.

No1. I truly am in love:

Ive always know since the day i met Garth that this is it. but then again i guess I might have said the same thing somewhere down the road before but yet not with as much zest as i do know, But about two weekends ago, I went out with a mate of mine, now I am a trust worthy person always have been, but this absolutely drop dead gorgeous guy starts picking me up and all the time all I could think was hmmm I wonder what Garths doing right now, I went into a little day dream world (like totally, as in I was in sexy day dream world with Garth in my head, practically drooling) that this Sexy Hunky Guy said to me and I quote " Hey did you even hear a single word I just said" lol. ooooops my bad and all I did was shrugg needless to say Sexy Hunky Guy wasnt impressed.

No2. I am way to hard on myself and now I know why.

Some where along the line you find the appreciation you have missed your whole life. The plain fact is that the best you give will never be enough, people always want more or should I say expect one level higher, you never seem to satisfy yourself or anyone. For example athe the age of 11 i was struggling with history at school (crap teacher) so I decided im going to try really hard, I came home with 98 out of 100, I was so CHUFFED and EXCITED so eager to impress my DAD. So running up to him and handing him my test to sign (probably the only test I ever gave him to sign) with big smiles and a giggle in my heart. My dad had a good LOOOOONNNNG look at it and with a very stern face looked me in the eyes and asked me and I quote " wheres the other 2 Marks. Putting all this aside....hang on you cant really can you? I just decided to stop trying in life. Now much older, I am still stupid enough to turn to him for advice and support on my major deccissions in life (still trying to impress him I guess), choices I am making to better my life, hoping that I am doing the right think, for him once again to bring me down. Lately i have discovered that my real father figure is my brother, I can rely on him for support and a shoulder to cry on and for him to tell me the truth at all times no matter how much it hurts, oh and best of all to tell me to shut up with my insecurities.